Holiday

I'm currently sat in the far end of our caravan, watching Zeus try to find a place to lie comfortably and listening to the wind pound against the walls of the van. Dad just turned the car engine on as he is off to a military museum and Zeus is up at the windows wanting to go with him.
      There's something about caravanning that just brings us all together and makes us happy. I don't know if its the fresh air or the fact we all work together to make this small space work, but it just brings me a peace and happiness. 

We got here on Friday evening in 50-60mph gusting winds and tried endlessly to put the awning up. It was so hard and when we eventually got all the poles up and sturdy, the canvas started coming out of the rail that the awning threads through, and we realised that it had come apart and was broken. So after 2 more tries, we gave up and all got moody and upset because, having Zeus, we can't camp without the awning.
       But then after a silent meal and a few comments, dad knocked it all together and managed to fix it (luckily). We really thought we'd have to go home.

On Saturday, I did my first ever flying lesson, in practice for my charity flight. Scary or what!?
I kind of got the hang of it after a while but it was very challenging, but also worth it.

Then on Sunday, we went to this old disused military airfield and because it was quiet and not a real road, dad let me have a go at driving the car! I got so excited, because I kept flashing back to when I was 7 and I'd sit in the car on the driveway, pretending to drive with the indicators and wiggling the gear stick. And now, 8 years later, I actually drove it properly with the engine on and the car moving. It's amazing how time flies!

Anyway, sorry for the kind of boring blog post, but I felt I had to write about this weekend as it was so fab!

Love, 

Ellie xxxx

PS: I actually wrote this blog post on Sunday evening, so at the time I was in the caravan but we're home now!

Roundabouts and Rollercoasters

It suddenly occurred to me the other day that it's almost half term, which means I only have 7 or 8 weeks left of year 10 before summer starts. At first, I get exited and thank goodness that I'm almost one year closer to getting out of GCSEs and this stage in my life forever. But then I remember what I always used to say to mum when I first started playing The Sims. I would say to her, "Wouldn't it be cool if you could fast forward time in real life just like you can in Sims?" And she said to me, "No, because I don't want to fast forward through things. I want things to stay as they are for as long as possible." 
      At the time, when I was 6 or 7, I would be confused because I'd love the idea of being able to fast forward through boring things like school or horrible times like falling out with friends. Even now, I'd still love to do that sometimes. But then I remember what my mum said. 

Having my future so close I could almost touch it just makes me so nervous, excited and happy all at the same time. When we were in Yorkshire a couple of months ago, I remember thinking to myself that next year, when we're back in the same place again, things could be so different. I have no idea what's going to happen and where I'm going to be next March/April when I turn 16. And as daunting as that is, I love that feeling! I love having faith in God and where he's taking me and although there are so many hard things to deal with in life, the future really is what you make of it. 
"Instead of thinking of all the things that could go wrong, start thinking of all the things that'll go right." 

Today I woke up and my M.E. has taken a massive blow at me. I've been lying down pretty much all day because I feel quite ill and so exhausted, and this cold just doesn't seem to be going away. I felt so fed up because despite my cold, this past week or so I've been doing a lot better; and then all of a sudden I come crashing down. It's happened to me a few times before and I could see it coming, but I'm always too naive to believe it's going to happen again. 

But all day today, I've had the song "Warrior" By Demi Lovato in my head. This song sums up everything I tell myself and how I feel about my M.E. and about every other struggle. Every single line just reminds me to be positive and hang in there, and believe that things will one day get better, because they will. Like the picture at the top says - I have no idea what's going to happen... and I love it! 
      So instead of thinking negatively on the fact that things could go wrong any minute, embrace the rollercoaster that is life and don't forget to smile. 

Love, 
Ellie xxxx  

Charity Flight!

So, this summer, I'm going to do something a lot more adventurous and exciting than my previous events for charity. My dad has a PPL (Private Pilot's License) and when I went to my parents saying I wanted to do something different to raise money for charity, he came up with the idea of getting sponsored to face both of my fears - flying over the ocean and flying a light aircraft with my own hands (and feet). Basically, as long as there's a licensed pilot in the aeroplane and lightly holding the controls, I'm allowed to fly the plane on my own, using all the pedals and buttons and what not on my own. And at the same time, I'm flying out all the way to Lundy Island off the North Devon coast. I know - scary, right!? I'm so terrified for it, even though I know if something goes wrong then dad will easily be able to fix it, but still... it's gonna be so scary.

The charity I'm raising money for is Cancer Research, because my beloved Grandma was unfairly taken by this illness in 2007, and I know they're getting so close to finding a cure. So as they say on all the adverts, "Cancer - I'm coming to get you!", because I am. I'm inviting along anyone who wants to come to the flying school with Dad and I to support me, although it is in Bodmin so I understand if you don't want to come. I'll be opening an online donations page so that if you're in a different county or country you can still donate. It would be seriously appreciated, because I really want to raise as much money as possible. 
      I'm hoping some family and friends will be able to come down with us, as there's a lovely little restaurant there and the people are so hospitable. I'm so excited, but as I said before, I'm also soooo nervous. I'll definitely be taking a lot of pictures, so if you can't come then you can live the magic with me through pictures. 

More details and news on this will come soon, because in the half term that's coming up in just a couple of weeks, dad and I are thinking of doing my first "lesson" on how to fly and work all the dials and controls (eek!). Of course, its weather dependent, but once I've done my first lesson I will probably open my online sponsorship page, and of course take pictures!

I just thought I'd write a blog to let all my friends, family and readers know what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I'm hoping to get as many people as possible to donate/sponsor me, and even the smallest amount of money would be appreciated. 
      Thank you so much, and I really hope you can sponsor me to do this. Cancer is unfairly taking so many lives, and I'm sure we all agree that it's time to fight back. Cancer damages every one around us, and I know my Grandma is proud of me for doing this. 

Thank you.

Lots of love,
Ellie xxx

Bank Holiday Weekend

Last weekend was just one of those blessed weekends. I only get them every now and again, but when I do, it's always so worth the wait. 
The picture above is of my friend Becca, me and then Kat. It's not the greatest picture, but it was such a great day that I just had to capture it. 

We went to a place called Highcliffe in the New Forest, and I'd never been there before this day. We started off by getting something to eat and we ate in this bus-shelter type thing right on the top of the cliff, looking out over the beach and sea. It was so windy but it was awesome - you could see for miles.

Then that evening we went out to the entertainment that was there, and we chose to go to the "dance party" thing. Unfortunately, it was only half an hour long but it was so amazing. They started off by playing a song I quite like by Nicki Minaj, and then after that, "I Knew You Were Trouble" by Taylor Swift came on and I couldn't believe it! A few hours before this, mum had said to me, 'Imagine if they played Trouble. You'd have to clear the dance floor and start doing your dance for the festival', and then they actually played it! 
      They played a lot of songs we loved that night. Becca, Kat and I were just dancing and having a generally awesome time. Just like I say in my last blog, when I dance, I forget everything. Although it wasn't like dancing in a class, it was still dancing, and I was  having so much fun that I forgot about my M.E. for a while and I forgot how tired I actually was. 

I feel like this weekend was a blessing from God: amazing friends for company, a lovely location, beautiful weather, energy and dancing all combined in to 3 and a half days. Can you believe that? Our God is an awesome God, that's for sure. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your bank holiday weekend, wherever you were and whatever you were doing. Let me know what you got up to.

PS. Here's a picture of Zeus (our dog) and Maisie (our friend's puppy). Aren't they adorable together!? 

Lots of love xxxx

That Place

So I have this place where nothing can touch me. Not pain, not heartache, not bullying... not even gravity. It's a place I dream of every day and a place I only really get glimpses of. This place is somewhere personal, but somewhere that reaches out to people close to me when they know I'm there - when they know I'm not letting anything hurt me or bother me. 

By now you're probably wondering where this place is. It's a place I feel I'm in when I dance. When I'm on stage, moving to a piece of music I've been practicing to for months. It's this amazing feeling that nothing is wrong, like nothing can hurt me. When I dance it takes everything bad away and just lets the good in. Getting lost in a dance is the best way to find myself.
      If I think about it when I'm dancing, I can feel my M.E. getting worse and the tiredness coming over me. If I think about it, I can feel my body starting to hurt and I can feel my eyes getting heavy. But none of that matters; instead of letting it hold me back, I allow it to push me further. Because if I continue dancing through the pain and through the tiredness, I feel proud of myself. None of the pain or hurting matters when I'm dancing. 

The reason I'm writing a blog about dancing and how it affects me is because I want to let people know about why I still dance even though I'm really not physically well enough to do it. Dancing is something that stops me from hurting inside even if it makes me hurt more on the outside. And the other day, my mum told me that it fills her with happiness and joy when she sees me dance. That made me more happy than you can ever imagine!

Have you got a passion that helps you through things, even if their may be drawbacks to doing so? I know that one of my best friends has HNPP (fairly similar to M.E.) and gets very achey joints which is terrible. But nothing helps her more than going out and doing some photography; even when she can't really walk, the mental benefits of it outweigh the physical downers.
      I think we all have that place where nothing can touch us, even if you haven't found it yet. For some people it's doing their job and for others its their hobby outside of working life. I think once you've found that place, you'll never be without something to fall back on, or something to help you think things through. 

What's your special place or thing you do when you need time to yourself? Let me know!

Lots of love, 
Ellie xxxxx