Right now, I'm sitting in a big conservatory in Inverness, Scotland. I can see the freshly-frozen, ploughed fields in front of the house as the sun gleams in through the windows, and in the distance I can faintly see the Scottish highlands covered in snow. It's the most beautiful sight I've ever seen, and I've seen Dallas at night, which is also incredible.
Scotland is amazing. All the people are so friendly, the bread is delicious and they do everything properly. The Aga is a dream come true and so is the fire, and it's somewhere I'd absolutely love to live when I'm older. If you step outside, you can't hear a thing, besides the occasional tweeting bird. It's so silent, you could hear a leaf fall to the ground. The house backs on to a forest, which is also frozen too, but it looks so beautiful with the morning blue sky shining through the long and empty trees. It's the most peaceful place I've ever been to in my life, and everyone should put "go to Scotland" on their list of things to do before they die, because it's an experience everyone would love. I felt like I should write a short blog about this because it's an amazing experience and to anyone who has never been to Scotland - get online and book yourself a holiday here! It's beautiful, friendly, and so homely. Even though it got down to (apparently) -10 degrees Celsius last night, I was still so warm and cosy in bed and it was lovely.
Today we're going to a beach near Loch Ness, and then going to a cafe for lunch. The only downside to Scottish cafes is that they don't have clotted cream, so you can't have a proper Southern Cream Tea (not that I'm a massive fan anyway, but my mum is). Even though this is the sunniest place I've been to in a long time, it's also the coldest. Although today I think it's 2 degrees, which is actually not too bad for here.
When I'm here, I feel like I'm on top of the world. Wherever I look, I feel at home and happy. Even though I don't like flying, I can't help but want to fly up here every single weekend. It's definitely a place I want to live at some point in my life. Like I said before, if you've never been here, you have to. It's the best place in the world. Or it's the best place out of the parts of the world that I've seen, anyway.
Friday, 22 February 2013
Tuesday, 19 February 2013
Strengths and weaknesses
You know on new years eve when everyone makes new years resolutions and they promise themselves that they'll actually stick to them this year? - And then by the time it gets to the middle of February they come up with any random excuse not to do it... then repeat this whole cycle the next year? It came to me the other day that this is what every aspect of life is like.
When you've always wanted to learn a new language, but then 2 months in to learning it you find yourself bored to death - that's when you know you're probably not made for learning a new language.
Or if you promise yourself to go on a diet and lose a stone, but then a few months later you eat some cake and realise that it's really not worth giving up cake just to lose a few pounds - that's when you come to know that you're not made to be thin, you're made to be the weight you are and just enjoy what you eat.
People make promises like this every December 31st with every intention of fulfilling them and staying true to them. The other day, I decided I wanted to wear my dresses more often and just fight the cold, so I promised myself that the next day I would wear one. So it came to the next day, I discovered it was cold, and put my jeans on. The same happened the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that. I still haven't worn a dress in a week... despite that "promise" I made to myself. But it's okay, because if I hadn't not worn the dresses, I wouldn't have bought the gorgeous new pink jeans I'm wearing right now.
That may seem like a completely irrelevant and strange example to use when I normally talk about 'deep' stuff, but do you see what I'm getting at?
If we didn't make these weak promises to ourselves every year on new years eve, we wouldn't come to know our strengths and weaknesses and things we actually want or need. You can sometimes realise what you're meant to do and what you're not meant to do in life.
So, even though it seems kind of pointless every year to set these goals and always change your mind about them 3 months down the line, don't stop doing it and never lose faith in yourself. The silly little things you swear you'll do every year may not happen, but new experiences and passions will do because of them.
Until next time,
Ellie x x
When you've always wanted to learn a new language, but then 2 months in to learning it you find yourself bored to death - that's when you know you're probably not made for learning a new language.
Or if you promise yourself to go on a diet and lose a stone, but then a few months later you eat some cake and realise that it's really not worth giving up cake just to lose a few pounds - that's when you come to know that you're not made to be thin, you're made to be the weight you are and just enjoy what you eat.
People make promises like this every December 31st with every intention of fulfilling them and staying true to them. The other day, I decided I wanted to wear my dresses more often and just fight the cold, so I promised myself that the next day I would wear one. So it came to the next day, I discovered it was cold, and put my jeans on. The same happened the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that. I still haven't worn a dress in a week... despite that "promise" I made to myself. But it's okay, because if I hadn't not worn the dresses, I wouldn't have bought the gorgeous new pink jeans I'm wearing right now.
That may seem like a completely irrelevant and strange example to use when I normally talk about 'deep' stuff, but do you see what I'm getting at?
If we didn't make these weak promises to ourselves every year on new years eve, we wouldn't come to know our strengths and weaknesses and things we actually want or need. You can sometimes realise what you're meant to do and what you're not meant to do in life.
So, even though it seems kind of pointless every year to set these goals and always change your mind about them 3 months down the line, don't stop doing it and never lose faith in yourself. The silly little things you swear you'll do every year may not happen, but new experiences and passions will do because of them.
Until next time,
Ellie x x
Thursday, 14 February 2013
What's the rush?
When I was a little girl, I saw 3 weddings. My eldest older brother, my Auntie, and then my youngest older brother. At my eldest brother's wedding (David), I remember standing at the front and listening to them say their vows. I was thinking to myself, 'I know exactly how I want my wedding to be. I want the theme to be purple, just like this one, and I want to have it in a little church like this one, too.'
Then it came to my Auntie's wedding, and I'd bought this gorgeous dress with buttons sewn on to the ribbons around the shoulders and on the pockets. I can remember exactly where I was standing - in the middle of the church, on the left as you come down the aisle. When my Auntie started walking down the aisle, I got shivers all over my body and I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face. She smiled at me, and that's when I turned to look at the groom standing at the other end of the church. I remember seeing how happy he looked, and I always dreamed of someone looking at me just like that when I was walking down the aisle.
The last wedding I went to was my youngest-older brother's, back in 2009. I was a bridesmaid, and the thing I remember most was sitting there, watching them say their vows, and we were all close to tears. I just felt so happy, because I could feel the love, just like I could at all the other weddings.
Every single wedding I've ever been to, I've been planning my special day, whenever that may be (not anytime soon... just making that clear). I've always dreamed of being looked at through the eyes of someone who adored me; someone who loved me no matter what.
But what I've come to realise, is that I'm only 14. Most girls my age are fretting if they don't have a boyfriend or don't have a million likes from boys on their Facebook profile picture. It makes me so sad seeing some of my closest friends so desperate to be loved, yet they don't realise that a different kind of love is all around them. I see so many girls that I know spending all their time dreaming of someone coming up to them and kissing them under the moonlight and telling them how much they love them. I'll admit, I used to do this (please don't hold that against me). But now I've realised that I have so much more potential, and I have so much more I can do in my life than dating the most gorgeous guy in this town or holding hands with someone as I walk down the street. I don't want to waste my teenage years just wanting to be wanted... I want to make a difference and make the most of not having to worry about things like bills and stuff like that.
I'm only 14... what's the rush? Most of relationships at this age don't last anyway, because people end up going their seperate ways. I have bigger dreams than just dating someone at this age. Yeah, my dreams may include having a husband and a family but I'm only 14... I don't need one quite yet.
This is something I wish girls would think of and act like. If you're a girl my age and reading this... please understand what I'm trying to say! I'm not saying I don't want to be loved and I'm definitely not shunning teenage relationships. I'm just saying that I wish that rather than spending all our time wanting to be wanted, we should just live our lives how we want until that special someone comes along. And then, after all the waiting, it'll be worth it. Well worth it.
"When all you wanted was to be wanted,
wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now."
I'm so glad I realised this before it was too late, because now I won't wish I could go back and tell myself this in a few years to come. I just wish I could tell this to everyone.
♥
Then it came to my Auntie's wedding, and I'd bought this gorgeous dress with buttons sewn on to the ribbons around the shoulders and on the pockets. I can remember exactly where I was standing - in the middle of the church, on the left as you come down the aisle. When my Auntie started walking down the aisle, I got shivers all over my body and I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face. She smiled at me, and that's when I turned to look at the groom standing at the other end of the church. I remember seeing how happy he looked, and I always dreamed of someone looking at me just like that when I was walking down the aisle.
The last wedding I went to was my youngest-older brother's, back in 2009. I was a bridesmaid, and the thing I remember most was sitting there, watching them say their vows, and we were all close to tears. I just felt so happy, because I could feel the love, just like I could at all the other weddings.
Every single wedding I've ever been to, I've been planning my special day, whenever that may be (not anytime soon... just making that clear). I've always dreamed of being looked at through the eyes of someone who adored me; someone who loved me no matter what.
But what I've come to realise, is that I'm only 14. Most girls my age are fretting if they don't have a boyfriend or don't have a million likes from boys on their Facebook profile picture. It makes me so sad seeing some of my closest friends so desperate to be loved, yet they don't realise that a different kind of love is all around them. I see so many girls that I know spending all their time dreaming of someone coming up to them and kissing them under the moonlight and telling them how much they love them. I'll admit, I used to do this (please don't hold that against me). But now I've realised that I have so much more potential, and I have so much more I can do in my life than dating the most gorgeous guy in this town or holding hands with someone as I walk down the street. I don't want to waste my teenage years just wanting to be wanted... I want to make a difference and make the most of not having to worry about things like bills and stuff like that.
I'm only 14... what's the rush? Most of relationships at this age don't last anyway, because people end up going their seperate ways. I have bigger dreams than just dating someone at this age. Yeah, my dreams may include having a husband and a family but I'm only 14... I don't need one quite yet.
This is something I wish girls would think of and act like. If you're a girl my age and reading this... please understand what I'm trying to say! I'm not saying I don't want to be loved and I'm definitely not shunning teenage relationships. I'm just saying that I wish that rather than spending all our time wanting to be wanted, we should just live our lives how we want until that special someone comes along. And then, after all the waiting, it'll be worth it. Well worth it.
"When all you wanted was to be wanted,
wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now."
I'm so glad I realised this before it was too late, because now I won't wish I could go back and tell myself this in a few years to come. I just wish I could tell this to everyone.
♥
Tuesday, 12 February 2013
Sparks Fly
I was watching a movie the other day called "The Accidental Husband". There's a part in it towards the end where the woman says to someone, "let me tell you something about sparks. Sparks cause fires and fires will burn your house down, so if you keep searching for good old Sparky, you're sure to get burned."
That quote just said something to me (so much that I later wrote it in to a song). People spend so much time and effort waiting for a spark, waiting to feel some danger or something edgy about a relationship. I think that sometimes, the sparkiest of relationships can also be the ones that hurt the most. If a relationship - any type, not just a romantic one - has sparks, there's got to be some sort of fire just waiting to catch.
It made me think for a while after seeing that movie for the first time - there are different types of sparks. There's the good spark that makes you feel happy, comfortable and safe; even if it catches fire, it's pretty easy to extinguish with some TLC and a fire blanket. But then there's the amazing, huge, obvious and bittersweet spark that makes a relationship feel on-the-edge, happy and sad at the same time. These are the sparks that get you burned, because unlike a spark ignite on a cooker, it's not controlled. It's the kind of spark that happens when a plug overheats and sets on fire. You can't stop it from happening because once you've fallen for that person... you've fallen.
It made me realise that heartbreaks are just like being burned; it will leave a scar for the rest of your life, but will eventually get better with time. Love is flammable, and you've got to be careful when handling it, otherwise it'll go up in flames.
It brings me to the song "State of Grace" by Taylor Swift, in which there is a line that says "Love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right". This line sums up what I'm trying to say, because it's true - love IS a ruthless game, but if you play it right and treat each other well, you might just be able to stop the flames from submerging everything. I have to remember that in all kinds of relationships, whether it's family, friendship or love-love (not that I have a boyfriend, I'm just imagining here, people). I have to remind myself to play things good and right, and always be careful when having an argument, because once you've said something... you can't take it back.
That quote just said something to me (so much that I later wrote it in to a song). People spend so much time and effort waiting for a spark, waiting to feel some danger or something edgy about a relationship. I think that sometimes, the sparkiest of relationships can also be the ones that hurt the most. If a relationship - any type, not just a romantic one - has sparks, there's got to be some sort of fire just waiting to catch.
It made me think for a while after seeing that movie for the first time - there are different types of sparks. There's the good spark that makes you feel happy, comfortable and safe; even if it catches fire, it's pretty easy to extinguish with some TLC and a fire blanket. But then there's the amazing, huge, obvious and bittersweet spark that makes a relationship feel on-the-edge, happy and sad at the same time. These are the sparks that get you burned, because unlike a spark ignite on a cooker, it's not controlled. It's the kind of spark that happens when a plug overheats and sets on fire. You can't stop it from happening because once you've fallen for that person... you've fallen.
It made me realise that heartbreaks are just like being burned; it will leave a scar for the rest of your life, but will eventually get better with time. Love is flammable, and you've got to be careful when handling it, otherwise it'll go up in flames.
It brings me to the song "State of Grace" by Taylor Swift, in which there is a line that says "Love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right". This line sums up what I'm trying to say, because it's true - love IS a ruthless game, but if you play it right and treat each other well, you might just be able to stop the flames from submerging everything. I have to remember that in all kinds of relationships, whether it's family, friendship or love-love (not that I have a boyfriend, I'm just imagining here, people). I have to remind myself to play things good and right, and always be careful when having an argument, because once you've said something... you can't take it back.
Sunday, 10 February 2013
Imperfections
Imperfections are the only things that stop us from having full confidence in ourselves. We all have the things we hate about ourselves: maybe it's your tummy, your feet, your hair... your chin!? - I know the last one is definitely true for me... and pretty much the rest of the things on that list.
But the thing is, when we look at ourselves in the mirror, our eyes go straight to our least favoured part. For example (I'll be honest here), when I look in the mirror, I don't exactly look at my favourite part of my body - my eyes, do I? No. I look at my legs, my tummy, my chin... the list goes on. And that sounds awful, because I know a lot of my close friends would say, "But Ellie, you're beautiful!"... but if we're all being honest, we all do it.
But what I want to talk about is why on earth do we do this!? Surely in the olden days, when women wore gorgeous floor-length dresses and high hair, they didn't look in the mirror and think 'oh my, my hair is just too flat today' or 'my cheeks are way to fat. That's all people will notice'... please tell me they didn't? When we see other people, we don't instantly pick up on only their flaws (well, not all the time...), right? So why do we do it to ourselves?
At the end of the day, what matters is what's underneath. I know that as a teenager these days (and no doubt every past generation of teens), your image is the most important thing. I used to spend hours putting makeup on, doing my hair, dying my hair to fit the trend, spending money on clothes that I never ended up wearing because they were so uncomfortable. But what I've come to realize is that showing off your imperfections can actually turn them in to assets.
A good example of what I've realized is that I used to hate my feet. They are really wide and short and I have strange-looking toes. I found it really hard to find shoes as a kid because of my silly high instep and high arches. But I've been dancing all my life, and when I started Pointe work (dancing on your toes) in Ballet, I realised that my high instep and high arches were actually a gift. My dance teacher would say that I have feet that many professional Ballet dancers would be envious of... and I used to say "that's crazy - why on earth would you want my feet!?" But now I realise it...
God makes us the way we are for a reason. God gave me those strange feet with high insteps, because they were made for dancing. Dancing is a huge part of my life and I have great feet for it, which makes me sound like an arrogant annoying person but I promise, I am anything but sure of myself!
What that example was trying to prove was that you're made the way you are for a reason. Some people may look at my chin and think "wow, that's pointy enough to poke an eye out", but other people may think it's beautiful (not that I understand why they would think that). Imperfections are what make us beautiful, individual, and perfect in unusual ways.
Sometimes I wish I'd spent less time pointing out my imperfections, and more time thinking of how they make me different and beautiful.
Until next time, lots of love.
Ellie x x
But the thing is, when we look at ourselves in the mirror, our eyes go straight to our least favoured part. For example (I'll be honest here), when I look in the mirror, I don't exactly look at my favourite part of my body - my eyes, do I? No. I look at my legs, my tummy, my chin... the list goes on. And that sounds awful, because I know a lot of my close friends would say, "But Ellie, you're beautiful!"... but if we're all being honest, we all do it.
But what I want to talk about is why on earth do we do this!? Surely in the olden days, when women wore gorgeous floor-length dresses and high hair, they didn't look in the mirror and think 'oh my, my hair is just too flat today' or 'my cheeks are way to fat. That's all people will notice'... please tell me they didn't? When we see other people, we don't instantly pick up on only their flaws (well, not all the time...), right? So why do we do it to ourselves?
At the end of the day, what matters is what's underneath. I know that as a teenager these days (and no doubt every past generation of teens), your image is the most important thing. I used to spend hours putting makeup on, doing my hair, dying my hair to fit the trend, spending money on clothes that I never ended up wearing because they were so uncomfortable. But what I've come to realize is that showing off your imperfections can actually turn them in to assets.
A good example of what I've realized is that I used to hate my feet. They are really wide and short and I have strange-looking toes. I found it really hard to find shoes as a kid because of my silly high instep and high arches. But I've been dancing all my life, and when I started Pointe work (dancing on your toes) in Ballet, I realised that my high instep and high arches were actually a gift. My dance teacher would say that I have feet that many professional Ballet dancers would be envious of... and I used to say "that's crazy - why on earth would you want my feet!?" But now I realise it...
God makes us the way we are for a reason. God gave me those strange feet with high insteps, because they were made for dancing. Dancing is a huge part of my life and I have great feet for it, which makes me sound like an arrogant annoying person but I promise, I am anything but sure of myself!
What that example was trying to prove was that you're made the way you are for a reason. Some people may look at my chin and think "wow, that's pointy enough to poke an eye out", but other people may think it's beautiful (not that I understand why they would think that). Imperfections are what make us beautiful, individual, and perfect in unusual ways.
Sometimes I wish I'd spent less time pointing out my imperfections, and more time thinking of how they make me different and beautiful.
Until next time, lots of love.
Ellie x x
Thursday, 7 February 2013
Starting out
There have been so many times in my life where I wish I'd said something, or I wish I'd done something different, or I wish I'd not said anything at all. We all have these times. We all have those humiliating times where things go completely opposite to what you planned, and it feels like the world is ending. But then, we look back a few months later and smile. We think to ourselves, 'hey, that actually taught me not to do that again.' or 'hey, that just made me stronger.'
I may just be 14, but certain things have happened to me that meant I had to grow up pretty fast... probably faster than your average person of my age. Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying I know everything; I'm not saying I'm an adult. I know for a fact that I'm still learning; on a daily basis, I learn things and realise things that I never thought possible. I still act like a teenager, I still need my mum like I need air, I still love pop music and talking about pointless things with my friends that won't affect us in years to come. But the things that have happened have affected other parts of my life, and so I've had to learn things.
For a long time I've been thinking of starting a blog, but I always thought it was kind of weird for a 14-year-old to have a blog. But then I realised that there's bigger and worse things to worry about than what a bunch of teenagers think of me for having a blog where I share random things I make and think. And if you're someone I know, reading this right now thinking 'Wow, she's such a weirdo, who would want a blog' or 'what a freak, she thinks she's an adult', feel free to stop reading because... if you don't really like me and want to insult me... why are you reading in the first place? - Why are you so interested in me that you actually wasted the time to read this?
Anyways, I wanted to make this blog to share my thoughts. Because I'm an M.E sufferer (more on that at a later date), I spend a lot of my time in bed or stuck at home. So I wanted to share my thoughts with the world and share my paintings, music, jewellery - anything - with you guys. If you're reading this, thank you for taking the time to be interested in what I have to say. And if you're a person I know wanting to insult me and you're still reading this... seriously, what are you still doing reading this?
In 14 years, I've dealt with a lot. A lot. But who hasn't dealt with a lot at some point in their life? - Like I said before, at the end of the day, these little mishaps make us stronger. Sometimes, it's worth saving yourself a huge heartache and replacing it with a slightly smaller one. Sometimes, it's worth saying what you want, even if it's not necessarily the right thing, but it's worth it because it gets it off your chest.
I called this blog "On a Journey", because although I feel like I've walked a thousand miles through wind, rain, sunshine and storms... I know I still have miles to go. I'm at the beginning of an amazing journey and it's gonna be a bumpy ride. It already has been a bumpy ride. But I'm on a journey, and I wanted to blog about it because... well... just because.
I hope you like my posts, they'll be filled with (hopefully) wisdom, creativeness, random thoughts and pretty pictures.
Lots of love, prayers and hope being sent your way.
Ellie x x
I may just be 14, but certain things have happened to me that meant I had to grow up pretty fast... probably faster than your average person of my age. Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying I know everything; I'm not saying I'm an adult. I know for a fact that I'm still learning; on a daily basis, I learn things and realise things that I never thought possible. I still act like a teenager, I still need my mum like I need air, I still love pop music and talking about pointless things with my friends that won't affect us in years to come. But the things that have happened have affected other parts of my life, and so I've had to learn things.
For a long time I've been thinking of starting a blog, but I always thought it was kind of weird for a 14-year-old to have a blog. But then I realised that there's bigger and worse things to worry about than what a bunch of teenagers think of me for having a blog where I share random things I make and think. And if you're someone I know, reading this right now thinking 'Wow, she's such a weirdo, who would want a blog' or 'what a freak, she thinks she's an adult', feel free to stop reading because... if you don't really like me and want to insult me... why are you reading in the first place? - Why are you so interested in me that you actually wasted the time to read this?
Anyways, I wanted to make this blog to share my thoughts. Because I'm an M.E sufferer (more on that at a later date), I spend a lot of my time in bed or stuck at home. So I wanted to share my thoughts with the world and share my paintings, music, jewellery - anything - with you guys. If you're reading this, thank you for taking the time to be interested in what I have to say. And if you're a person I know wanting to insult me and you're still reading this... seriously, what are you still doing reading this?
In 14 years, I've dealt with a lot. A lot. But who hasn't dealt with a lot at some point in their life? - Like I said before, at the end of the day, these little mishaps make us stronger. Sometimes, it's worth saving yourself a huge heartache and replacing it with a slightly smaller one. Sometimes, it's worth saying what you want, even if it's not necessarily the right thing, but it's worth it because it gets it off your chest.
I called this blog "On a Journey", because although I feel like I've walked a thousand miles through wind, rain, sunshine and storms... I know I still have miles to go. I'm at the beginning of an amazing journey and it's gonna be a bumpy ride. It already has been a bumpy ride. But I'm on a journey, and I wanted to blog about it because... well... just because.
I hope you like my posts, they'll be filled with (hopefully) wisdom, creativeness, random thoughts and pretty pictures.
Lots of love, prayers and hope being sent your way.
Ellie x x
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