Roundabouts and Rollercoasters

It suddenly occurred to me the other day that it's almost half term, which means I only have 7 or 8 weeks left of year 10 before summer starts. At first, I get exited and thank goodness that I'm almost one year closer to getting out of GCSEs and this stage in my life forever. But then I remember what I always used to say to mum when I first started playing The Sims. I would say to her, "Wouldn't it be cool if you could fast forward time in real life just like you can in Sims?" And she said to me, "No, because I don't want to fast forward through things. I want things to stay as they are for as long as possible." 
      At the time, when I was 6 or 7, I would be confused because I'd love the idea of being able to fast forward through boring things like school or horrible times like falling out with friends. Even now, I'd still love to do that sometimes. But then I remember what my mum said. 

Having my future so close I could almost touch it just makes me so nervous, excited and happy all at the same time. When we were in Yorkshire a couple of months ago, I remember thinking to myself that next year, when we're back in the same place again, things could be so different. I have no idea what's going to happen and where I'm going to be next March/April when I turn 16. And as daunting as that is, I love that feeling! I love having faith in God and where he's taking me and although there are so many hard things to deal with in life, the future really is what you make of it. 
"Instead of thinking of all the things that could go wrong, start thinking of all the things that'll go right." 

Today I woke up and my M.E. has taken a massive blow at me. I've been lying down pretty much all day because I feel quite ill and so exhausted, and this cold just doesn't seem to be going away. I felt so fed up because despite my cold, this past week or so I've been doing a lot better; and then all of a sudden I come crashing down. It's happened to me a few times before and I could see it coming, but I'm always too naive to believe it's going to happen again. 

But all day today, I've had the song "Warrior" By Demi Lovato in my head. This song sums up everything I tell myself and how I feel about my M.E. and about every other struggle. Every single line just reminds me to be positive and hang in there, and believe that things will one day get better, because they will. Like the picture at the top says - I have no idea what's going to happen... and I love it! 
      So instead of thinking negatively on the fact that things could go wrong any minute, embrace the rollercoaster that is life and don't forget to smile. 

Love, 
Ellie xxxx