Find Your Passion

Someone once told me, when discussing what I wanted to do with my life, that you should always choose an in-demand career; something that people want and/or need. For example, a hairdresser, plumber, doctor, electrician, teacher, etc.
      At the time, I wanted to be a hairdresser, so this advice made me feel happy because it was something secure; something that I knew people would want in years to come.

But I've come to realise that while the safe and secure option is probably the most logical option to go for when choosing a career - I'd much rather do something I love, rather than something I hate just to keep me living.
      For ages, I've been saying that I want to be a teaching assistant, or a dance teacher, or a chef. As much as I am passionate about all these things, and as much as they'll make good money and are fairly secure... I don't feel like I'd be overly in love with the life I lived. I mean, sure, it would pay the bills and keep my head above water; but it wouldn't fill me with joy and it wouldn't keep my heart happy.

I think that, in life, you have to find your passion and run with it. No matter how much trouble it causes you, how hard it is to achieve, etc. I think it's very important to do something you love, even though it may not cover everything you need to cover. After all, I'd rather go to work every day, love it with all my heart and soul, and not make as much as I would as, say, a hairdresser. I'd rather do that than stick with the easy option and play it safe.
      I am in no way saying that hairdressing, dance teaching etc is easy; but, for me, that's the cop out - the back up plan. But I don't want a back up plan. I want spontaneity, passion, failures and wins.
I want to make music and speak to people through lyrics and my story. That's what I want to do. That's what I have to do.

It's a big, scary world out there, and sometimes it's even scarier when you know your dream is hard to achieve: when you know that you're going to be rejected, or you're going to fail sometimes. But I believe that if you find your passion and you feel you're called to do it, you have to take God's hand and trust in his love. Your faith and passion is all it takes. When your passion is calling you, do whatever it is you have to do, even if it means defying everything people expect of you.

"Find your passion and run with it."

"Get out and let your fear fall to the ground, 

no time to waste, don't wait, 

and don't you turn around and miss out

On everything you were made for,

I know you're not sure;

so you play it safe,

try to run away..."

I feel like God is calling me to pursue my music rather than anything else. I feel like (and hope that) God is going to use me through music. That's my passion, that's what I have to do.

If you feel called to do something - do it with all your heart. All your heart. 

Lots of love xxxx

PS. I hope you all had beautiful and blessed Christmases. I hope  you're having peaceful holidays. ♥♥♥

This Time Last Year...

Seeing as I'm still not feeling well, I decided to do something different that didn't take too much energy. I went on to my (main) Twitter account and scrolled through right back to this time last year. 

I found a tweet from December 9th, 2012, saying "Thanks to my God sister for taking me to church today. Loved it!". Which means that, yesterday, it was a year ago I was rescued by the Lord. I was picked up, saved, rescued. I can remember standing there in the middle of the church, hearing hundreds of strangers sing and worship around me. My God sister, Alice, was raising her hands in worship and so was my mum. It all seemed alien to me, as it had been years since I'd been to a church and months since I'd last prayed. 
      I remember how I felt, getting ready for church that morning. I was broken and lost, tired and confused. Alice had stayed over the night before and we'd had a four hour catch up in the afternoon, because we were home alone. Alice and I hadn't spoken properly until I broke up with my boyfriend in the November of last year, and on this day - the 8th of December 2012 - we sat and talked, and talked, and talked. For hours. 
      I wasn't going to go to this new church the next morning, because I was too tired and scared of knocking myself out for the week ahead. But somehow Alice managed to convince me to go. 

So, there I was that morning, getting ready to walk in to the unknown. I remember sitting at my dressing table and straightening my hair, feeling nervous for some reason. I was sad from a break-up, tired with my M.E., and in a really bad, scary place. I took a deep breath and went downstairs. Mum and Alice told me that I looked nice, and then we set off.
The minute I walked in to this huge church, I was overwhelmed by the amount of people there were. Alice new everyone, which made me want to be like her - grown up; a Girl of God. 
People worshiped, people preached and spoke everything I needed to hear. All of a sudden, I just had this desire to be like everyone around me - I wanted to worship with all my heart and soul... I wanted to believe what I was singing. Right then, in that moment at church, I was rescued. I didn't know it at the time, but I was saved. 

I'll always be thankful to Alice for taking me to that service. 

Here I am now, a year later, still not perfect. My M.E. may be worse this year, but my God is still with me, and I know that now. I have my days of doubt, I have bad thoughts, but I have a saviour and I've let him in, finally. It was the best decision I ever made, going to church that Sunday. I'm rescued, I'm saved. 
      It's such an awesome thought that just one morning at church changed my life. When I have a bad day, I pray now, instead of wallowing in sadness. When I feel exhausted, I trust in God. I don't think there's any words to explain how much happier I am now than I was this time last year. Even though the circumstances may be worse than they were last year... I'm still happier, somehow. I've always been a Christian, but now I'm a Girl of God, too. I've taken time to apologise for things I've done, and I've wiped the slate clean with the help of Jesus. I'm alive because Jesus lived. I'm here today because of the love of Jesus. 

"You're the God who sees, 
The God who rescued me."

How great his love for me? How do I explain how great it is to be rescued like I was a year ago? I can't believe it was a year ago. I really can't. 

 When I was younger, this song was just something that people sang in church. I only sang it, because that's what I knew. But now I sing it because God is so, so, so incredibly good. This song means something now. Everything means something now. 

I'm a warrior.

White Chocolate and Almond Cookies!

These cookies are definitely some of the nicest cookies I've ever made. Ever. 

They're crispy on the outside, and soft on the inside. Crammed full of white chocolate, they're so great to eat as a real sweet treat or give to guests at Christmas. Everyone will love them, I guarantee. You can use macadamia nuts or peanuts instead, as long as they're not salted. Hazelnuts will be very bitter in this recipe, so I wouldn't recommend them.

These cookies are really easy to make and so delicious.  I love them. 

Ingredients:

• 100g butter/margarine
• 75g caster sugar
• 75g soft brown sugar
• 1 large egg
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 200g plain flour
• Pinch of salt
• 1/2tsp bicarbonate of soda
• 150g white chocolate, chopped (or white chocolate chips)
• Handful of sliced almonds

1. Heat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius/Gas 4/160 degrees fan oven. 
2. Beat the butter and both sugars together until light and fluffy. Then, add the egg and vanilla extract and combine.
3. Chop the chocolate before adding to the mixture, and then add the almonds, flour, bicarbonate of soda and pinch of salt. Mix well. 
4. Roll in to small bowls or just scoop out with a spoon and place on a greased baking tray. Flatten them with a fork or spoon to your desired size.
5. Bake for 11-14 minutes, cool on racks, and enjoy! 

 
 Tell me what you think of these cookies! I hope you enjoy them ♥
 

Come, Give me Wings

"I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hands
 
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I can't do
Nothing I cannot do

My hands my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me"

This week/past few weeks have really quite horrible to me. I've had a cold for a week, and my M.E. just took a seriously big blow at me and now I'm on the sofa not moving or talking. It's so discouraging when this happens, and it's really hard to keep my faith. Really, really, really hard. I think this has been the hardest few weeks of my life. It sounds so over-exaggerated; I wish it was. 
It sometimes seems like no amount of praying, no amount of begging for my life and health back, is making a difference. I just want to get out and live, but most importantly, I want to make a difference in the world. That's all I want to do. I really don't know what else I'd do with my life, besides helping people. Especially seeing as it's Christmas time. The problem is,  I'm so ill at the moment, I can't do anything, let alone get out and make a difference. It's really disheartening and makes me feel so defeated. 

But, I'll continue to pray and I'll continue to fight. 

This song just says everything. I chose to post the acoustic version because I feel that it's a lot more raw, emotional and true. The lyrics are so beautiful, and give me shivers because I just want God to use me. I feel like I'm so ready to be doing something, even something small, to help someone or something. 
      Use me, Lord. Use me in my sleep, use me in my blog, use me in my music, use me in my dance, use me in my smile. Give me the health to help. I want to make a difference to someone's life. I want to let the broken know there's healing, once I've found it myself. I want to feed the hungry children. 
Take my dreams, come and give them wings. 

I beg the Lord every night that he will use me in some way one day. I'll continue to beg. I'll never give up, because it's what I want to do. 
I think this is the most honest blog I've ever written. I've shown how defeated I feel at the moment, and I've never really written that in my blog before. 
      But even though I feel defeated, at the lowest of lows, I'm going to keep going. I'm not a quitter anymore, I don't give up just like that. I'll keep going. I'll keep waiting for God to use me. 

I wish you all an amazing rest of the weekend, and hope it continues in to next week. Love all round xx