This Time Last Year...

Seeing as I'm still not feeling well, I decided to do something different that didn't take too much energy. I went on to my (main) Twitter account and scrolled through right back to this time last year. 

I found a tweet from December 9th, 2012, saying "Thanks to my God sister for taking me to church today. Loved it!". Which means that, yesterday, it was a year ago I was rescued by the Lord. I was picked up, saved, rescued. I can remember standing there in the middle of the church, hearing hundreds of strangers sing and worship around me. My God sister, Alice, was raising her hands in worship and so was my mum. It all seemed alien to me, as it had been years since I'd been to a church and months since I'd last prayed. 
      I remember how I felt, getting ready for church that morning. I was broken and lost, tired and confused. Alice had stayed over the night before and we'd had a four hour catch up in the afternoon, because we were home alone. Alice and I hadn't spoken properly until I broke up with my boyfriend in the November of last year, and on this day - the 8th of December 2012 - we sat and talked, and talked, and talked. For hours. 
      I wasn't going to go to this new church the next morning, because I was too tired and scared of knocking myself out for the week ahead. But somehow Alice managed to convince me to go. 

So, there I was that morning, getting ready to walk in to the unknown. I remember sitting at my dressing table and straightening my hair, feeling nervous for some reason. I was sad from a break-up, tired with my M.E., and in a really bad, scary place. I took a deep breath and went downstairs. Mum and Alice told me that I looked nice, and then we set off.
The minute I walked in to this huge church, I was overwhelmed by the amount of people there were. Alice new everyone, which made me want to be like her - grown up; a Girl of God. 
People worshiped, people preached and spoke everything I needed to hear. All of a sudden, I just had this desire to be like everyone around me - I wanted to worship with all my heart and soul... I wanted to believe what I was singing. Right then, in that moment at church, I was rescued. I didn't know it at the time, but I was saved. 

I'll always be thankful to Alice for taking me to that service. 

Here I am now, a year later, still not perfect. My M.E. may be worse this year, but my God is still with me, and I know that now. I have my days of doubt, I have bad thoughts, but I have a saviour and I've let him in, finally. It was the best decision I ever made, going to church that Sunday. I'm rescued, I'm saved. 
      It's such an awesome thought that just one morning at church changed my life. When I have a bad day, I pray now, instead of wallowing in sadness. When I feel exhausted, I trust in God. I don't think there's any words to explain how much happier I am now than I was this time last year. Even though the circumstances may be worse than they were last year... I'm still happier, somehow. I've always been a Christian, but now I'm a Girl of God, too. I've taken time to apologise for things I've done, and I've wiped the slate clean with the help of Jesus. I'm alive because Jesus lived. I'm here today because of the love of Jesus. 

"You're the God who sees, 
The God who rescued me."

How great his love for me? How do I explain how great it is to be rescued like I was a year ago? I can't believe it was a year ago. I really can't. 

 When I was younger, this song was just something that people sang in church. I only sang it, because that's what I knew. But now I sing it because God is so, so, so incredibly good. This song means something now. Everything means something now. 

I'm a warrior.