Happy Birthday Blog!

It's a year ago yesterday that I started writing this blog. Can you believe that? My first blog was called Starting Out, and when I read it back I can't believe how different I was. I was worried that when I started my blog, people would read it and think I was weird. Now? I couldn't care less. I really, really don't care if people think it's weird.
      I love my blog - I love having a say in the world, sharing my thoughts, my story, my hope, my musings. It never fails to amaze me that people actually care to read what I have to say. How cool is that!? People have watched me grow through my words, my thoughts and my actions. Thank you so much if you've been reading my blogs - whether you've been here from the very beginning or since yesterday, I still really, truly appreciate it. 

My blogs used to be all about my musings and things I wanted to get out there. It was things that made me seem wise and in-the-know. But after a while, I decided I wanted my blog to be more personal. I wanted to share my story and make this an honest space people could come to and instantly feel like they know me like a friend; because, really, I'd love to be friends with all of you. 

This is just a short blog to thank you for joining me on my journey. I love sharing it with you all. I can't believe it's been a year! I've grown so much as a person and I'm so thankful for that. 

Lots of love to you all,

Ellie xxxx

Thank you♥

Yesterday, in America, it was Thanksgiving. Of course I live in England, and we don't celebrate it over here; but I think it's such a great holiday and I wish we did celebrate it here. It's a time to get all your friends and family together and give thanks for everything you have in life. 
      I thought that maybe, in honour of the holiday, I'd make a post about everything I'm thankful for. Things can be tough, but there's always the same things I'm thankful for that stay there and, hopefully, won't change. 

My family. 
I would post a picture of all the people I'm thankful for in my family, but I can't because there's so many of them! I have a huge extended family since my uncle re-married, and I love every single one of them. We're not majorly close, but I still love it when we get together and see each other as we all get along so well. 
My closer family, such as my mum and dad, brothers and their wives and little girl, etc. They've all always been there for me when I needed them most and I couldn't be more thankful for that. I love my family so much. I couldn't live without any of them. We laugh with each other, we cry with each other. It's always been that way. I love them so much.

My best friends.
I only have a few very, very best friends and I'm thankful for every one of them. 

 This is me and three of my best friends at my birthday meal earlier this year.(Our eyes all look slightly strange in this photo... because of the effect!)

On the left, next to me, is Chloe. Chloe and I have been friends since the beginning of year seven, right at the start, and we've had our ups and downs but I still love her to bits. I don't get to see her as often as I used to, but whenever I see her we just don't stop laughing. Literally. She's hilarious and we have such fun. 

On the right, opposite Chloe(and below), is Beth. 
  

 Beth and I have been friends since playgroup. We've always been best friends and have been through every single stage of our lives together. We had our arguments when we were younger, but we're close now even though we can't see each other as often as we'd like. Beth is awesome - she's hilarious, beautiful inside and out, and I know I can always count on her. 

At the front on the right is Rosie. 

  Rosie has been my friend since before I was even born!! I've known her for as long as I can remember and we got even closer when we were 13 and 15 and going through similar things. We just don't stop laughing when we're together, but we can be serious when we need to as well. This photo is from my birthday/Easter and we were overjoyed with the amount of chocolate we had. 

 This is Kathryn (left) and Becca (right), and their dog Masie. These girls are fabulous. I love them so much - they're hilarious but also the most down to earth, sensitive and caring girls I've ever met. I can always count on them, and when I get to see them I just have such an awesome time. 

It's Alice. I've known her since I was born, just like Rosie, and in fact Rosie, Alice and I used to play together all the time. I'm very close to Alice. She is a wonderful girl and I know that God is going to do some amazing things with her. She's always there to come and see me whenever I need her, but we also laugh hysterically at the craziest things. 

Finally, it's my friend in America, Angel. I don't have any photos of us together... which is so annoying! I video chat with her as much as I can, and she's always, always there for me when I need her. She always knows what to say. I can rant to her or anything and all she cares about is that I'm telling someone, not keeping it to myself. We laugh together and fangirl together and I know that she was brought to me by God. 

Thank you my amazing friends, and to all the ones I haven't mentioned here. I miss all the friends I don't talk to much anymore - you know who you are, whether you're from my primary school or you live all the way around the other side of the world - and I'm forever thankful for everything you've done for me. I wouldn't be here without you.


My pets.

 

This is Tigger. He is crazy, irritating, funny, gentle, fussy, sweet, grumpy, but most of all he's my little darling. He may annoy me more than anything sometimes but I love him so much and he really has got a heart of gold in there.

This is Zeus. He's the most awesome dog I've ever met and I absolutely adore him. He's gorgeous, cute, fluffy, sensitive, obedient, sort of annoying, smelly but cuddly and he always knows when to be crazy and when to be calm. He can be a bit dim sometimes, but that just makes him Zeus. He's extremely big, but he really is a gentle giant. We can always trust him with any situation and he just rocks!! You gotta love Zeus. 

Not forgetting our chickens, of course... I don't have a picture of them to share with you, but their names are Charlotte, Florence and Connie. Their eggs are so delicious and they are so great to just sit and watch. There's nothing more relaxing than sitting and just watching chickens. Does that sound weird? I don't think it does. Maybe it does... i don't know... aaaanywayyyyy...

My house.

I'm so thankful for our beautiful home and the view it has. Seriously... it's incredible. We've been so blessed with this house and I'm so thankful I've been able to grow up in a gorgeous place like this. 

Dance (and the girlies at dance).

I always look forward to dance every Monday night. Not just because it's dancing, either, but because we just have such a good time. It's been a fab term these last few weeks because two classes have been combined and I've made some new friends and it's all brilliant. Dancing is in my blood, and I'm glad I get to share dance with my friends. You know who you are lovelies. 

Music

Music is always there when nothing else is. Have you ever noticed that? I just think it's cool how there's a song for every single mood and every single situation. It's a brilliant, wonderful thing, music. I'm so grateful to be able to have music to listen to, but also to have the ability to write music of my own. 

All my friends I haven't mentioned. 

Some other friends I have that I'm not as close to as the ones I've mentioned here - I'm thankful for you too. All my friends on Facebook who support me in every hard situation and also every good one. I'm so glad I have you guys. Thank you.

Everyone who reads my blog.

I think it's so weird yet wonderful how people want to read what I have to say. I'm always so astounded when my blog posts get over 10 views; I'm like, "What!? You guys are so cool!". So, if you're reading this now... thanks!! I'm glad you like to read what goes on in my crazy life/wild heart. 

All in all... I'm so blessed to have all of these things/people, and more. Thank you, God, for everything we have and everyone we know. 

What are you thankful for? 

Music

So I've written a lot of blogs about dance and what it means to me, and I decided it was time to share the other one of my passions and what it means to me, too. I don't know why I've never written about it before, really... but I'm going to now. 

If you've read the "About Me" tab at the top of the blog, you'll know that my two main passions are dance and music. 
Music has always been a part of my life - just like dance - ever since the word go. My mum and dad sometimes talk about the first time I heard music: I was lying on the living room floor on my changing mat (I think I was a few months old), crying (as usual) at the top of my lungs, and I think everyone was pretty sick of it. So they decided they'd try putting some music on. 
      The speakers were just a metre or so away, and when the music started, I stopped crying. Completely. My head snapped around to look at the speakers, and for the first time in months I wasn't crying, I was focused on something that wasn't sleep, food or attention and something was working. I was absolutely, completely mesmerized with the sounds coming out of those old speakers. Music.

Ever since that day, it's been clear to mum and dad that music is a part of me. It's been clear to all of us that it's a part of me. My parents are both very musical, and so are my brothers, so it was really no surprise...

Whenever family came around, I'd put on concerts and shows and make them sit there and listen to me singing a million Hannah Montana and Hilary Duff songs in to a fake microphone, and I'd just love it when they started clapping at the end. I'd start saying "Thank you Devon!!!" and bow and everything. I made up dance routines, pulled all the stage poses and loved it. 

My big brother Dave taught me my first chords on the guitar, and then my other big brother Richard taught me my first few chords on the piano. I can remember sitting on his knee, my hands on top of his and he was helping me play piano. Ever since then, I've been writing songs and playing other songs pretty much every day. A lot of my songs were made fun of by my brothers, but hey... they were pretty bad, so who can blame them? 

Anyway, music has always been something that I turn to and something that speaks to me. It was when I started "growing up", when I was 11 or so, and seeing real feelings and real life situations that it became the reliever in my life. I've always loved just sitting or standing there, singing my heart out to a song that means everything to me. That moment when you hear a song for the first time and you just think, "wow... this just says it all"; I've had that moment so many times in my life.

God always speaks to me through music. 99% of the re-building of my faith has come from various songs and Christian artists. Whenever I'm down, having a bad day or really struggling, God brings me these songs and I just listen to the words. It's very much a way that God speaks to me - sometimes I find a lyric in a song that has never stuck out before, but all of a sudden, it's what I need to hear. 

There's nothing like listening to a piece of music and hearing the singer get in to it. There's a few songs where, in between lines, their breath shakes and their voice falls for a minute. This may not be technically precise, but that's not what music is about. Music is about expressing yourself, healing, telling stories. It's an escape. The moments in songs where a voice falls at the end of a line that says it all, the moments where their voice shakes and staggers - these are the most beautiful moments. These are the moments where you know you're not alone, you know there was someone else who felt the same as you. 
      Music is my hope and my safety. In a world that's always changing and always throwing curve-balls, music is always there, consistently. There will always be a song to sing to, to make you laugh, to make you cry. There's a song for everything you need, everything you're feeling. How beautiful is that?

One day, I hope to share my music with people. I hope to bring people hope and joy; I want my music to be the reason why someone has decided to stay, decided not to give up on their life and/or faith. I want to connect with people through the power of a melody and lyrics working so well together and relating to someone's situation. Music is my reason to stay, and I want to be a part of that for someone else. I hope to inspire people one day, with music. It's very powerful; it's the only thing that will always make sense to me. 

One of my Passions

Lately I've really been having the urge and the desire to help people. I don't know why, but I just feel the need to help people and animals; I always have. I've always wanted to volunteer in places, ever since I was a little girl. I've always raised money for charity and always wanted to make other people happy. 

I want to put my extreme passion in to making a difference in the world. 
      I want to share God's word; I want to help young girls to get through self esteem issues and help them get through problems; I want to help animals... I want to do so many things in this world. I think that helping people is where my passion lies, really. All my dancing, my song-writing and my blogs all boil down to wanting to help people. I want to help people find help in dancing, save people with music and inspire people with my blog. 

There's a Britt Nicole interview that I watched once, and she was saying how once she asked God what her purpose in life was - and he just said "to love". After hearing this, I really, firmly believe that my purpose in life is also to love, to help people. I've always had a passion for it. 

I'm constantly praying to God to give me ideas and ways to help, inspire, encourage. Even the tiniest things and ideas I just love doing - it's almost like, providing for other people is  what gives me air in my lungs and what keeps me going everyday. 
      That's why, when people message me saying that my blogs have really inspired or helped them (you know who you are!), I get so happy and know that I can go to sleep that night with the knowledge that I have helped someone... even if it's just in the slightest way.

There have been so many people in my life that have inspired me. Some are people I know personally and some are celebrities. Either way, they've all helped shape me in to the person I am today. I hope that, one day, I can help people in the same way that these people  have helped me. I hope I become an inspiration for someone out there, that I can keep them going for as long as they need it, because if I can save one person's life, then my life will be made. 

I'll keep praying for my chance to change the world, to help people. Until the opportunity arises, I'll help in a smaller way whenever I can.

"When you get the chance, are you gonna take it? 

There's a really big world at your fingertips, 

and you know you have the chance to change it." 

♥

Things

I think we all have little things that make us happy. Whether it be in the garden, out on your favourite walk, in your house or somewhere you go on holiday. 
      I haven't written a blog in what seems like forever and I decided to write one about the little things that make our days better and brighter. Do you have an item in your house, or even a room, that you could just look at forever? - Something that fills you with a warmth and joy every time you see it? I know I do, and most of these things lie at home. 

Home is my place of comfort and warmth. It's the place where, all my life, I've looked forward to going back to after a long day at school or on a rainy, cold school trip. I remember when I was little, I hated school trips because it always seemed to rain on the trips that were outdoors, and was sunny when we had an indoor trip (that's just the way England works though, isn't it?). I can remember a specific trip we went on that was an outdoor adventure type thing. We had to do archery, bike riding, orienteering and an outdoor puzzle solving thing. From the minute I got on that little mini bus that morning, I knew it was going to be a bad day; the bus had ripped fabric all along the edges of the ceiling and the seats were revealing almost all of the yellow foam inside. It smelt of a mixture of tuna sandwiches and sick - my two worst things. 

I recall it being damp, dark and dingy at our "base" where we ate lunch and left our bags. It was raining, and we'd been told to take lots of different changes of clothes: waterproofs, cool clothes, more waterproofs, trainers, sandals - you know, the usuals. It was a freezing, damp, horrible day that ended with swimming in a cold pool with freezing, damp "changing rooms" which were really just four brick walls with a hook on one of them, and they called it a changing room. The lucky boys didn't need a changing room, because back then it seemed that girls where the ones who always got evicted when needing to change in private. 

Anyway, the point of this is that the whole day when I was there, feeling completely lonely and miserable, I couldn't wait to go home. I can vividly remember, that when I was doing all the horrid activities, I knew my mum would be waiting at home for me with a run bath, gorgeous smelling shampoo, a yummy dinner and some fresh homemade cakes. Mum was always prepared for everything (she still is), and always seemed to know how I'd be feeling when I got home from something, especially a school trip on a rainy day in a damp swamp. 
      As I'd expected, she was waiting at home with exactly the right things ready. She knew I'd be muddy, so I hopped in the shower and then she hastily ran me a nice hot bath before making my favourite meal finished with a delicious desert, no doubt. 

All I used to think on these school trips, and anything I didn't like, in fact, was coming home; the fact that soon, I'd be wrapped up in my duvet watching TV on the sofa with a hot chocolate and some toast with Nutella. 

My favourite things these days are things like these: 

One of my favourite plants in my garden - a pink rose we planted in memory of my Grandma. It brightens my day whenever I see it.

These daisy-like flowers also make my day brighter. Aren't they cute?

Seeing my gorgeous bed every day makes me happy. It's so colourful and flowery that it just reminds me of why I love flowers and pink and anything vintage. I also love my day bed. It's perfect.

 Seeing these shells on my windowsil reminds me of the dreams I used to have of mermaids and dolphins. I love the ocean, and it always makes me think of how one day I'll travel and see the incredible beaches that God has created.

My lanterns also make me smile. They were a spontaneous buy on a trip to a local quirky town near me and I just love looking at them every day. 

So what are your things that make your life just that little bit brighter? I know we all have them. 

Until next time, 

Ellie xxxx

A little about me...

My God Sister did a blog similar to this the other day, and I thought it was a fab idea for my readers to get to know me a bit more (if you really want to, that is). So I decided to do this "10-Day-Challenge", but in one blog. Enjoy! Let me know what you'd answer to these things, too. 

Well, here goes...

Ten random facts about myself:

• I don't like the wind when it's strong. 
• I have a deep love for fairy lights, lanterns and bandstands.
• I have always dreamed of going to Paris.
• I don't like it when I find a really gorgeous dress with a lovely pattern on, and then I realise it's one of those playsuit things. That disappoints me.
• I love calling people nice things, like "darling", "honey" and "poppet".
• The first thing I draw when I start doodling is always a heart.
• I taught myself how to play piano.
• I talk to myself all.the.time.
• I wear odd socks - I'm never caught wearing an even pair of them.
• I have a major sweet tooth. 

Nine things I do everyday:

• Text one of my best friends Kat. 
• Cuddle my cat. 
• Pray
• Sing a Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, Big Time Rush or any other of my idols' song.
• Check my Twitter and Facebook as I'm eating breakfast or before I get up.
• Eat Peanut butter
• Drink tea out of my Piglet mug in the morning
• Play with my hair
• Fuss my dog

Eight things that annoy me:

• When people don't have good manners like please and thank you. Especially when you open a door for them and they just walk straight past... I'm like, YOU'RE WELCOME. 
• When people ask me why I'm a vegetarian and tell me that the animal's already dead, it doesn't feel pain, animals are meant to be eaten blah blah blah. I'm perfectly happy being veggie and I have no problem with anyone else eating meat, I just can't personally face eating it. 
• Barbie and how everyone wants to look like "her". 
• That nobody understands the illness I have (M.E/CFS). 
• When people say they hate celebrities and send them hate.
• People calling Demi Lovato fat, Big Time Rush lame or Taylor Swift a slut. 
• When the authors of movies or books make characters die. Especially when it's the main characters. It just seems so pointless to me.
• How time always goes so quickly when you're having fun, but so slowly when you're not.

Seven fears/phobias:

• Bees and wasps.
• Losing control.
• Tornadoes/hurricanes.
• Losing my family or close friends.
• Never recovering from my illness. 
• Never being able to dance again. 
• Sick/being sick.

Six songs I'm addicted to:
This one is really hard because I have about 300 songs I can't live without, but I'll condense them down to six...

• Dear John - Taylor Swift
• Give Your Heart a Break - Demi Lovato
• Fallin' For You - R5
• You Never Let Go - Matt Redman
• Not Yet - Jenn Bostic
• Stay Stay Stay - Taylor Swift 

Five things I can't live without:

• My family and friends
• My phone
• Dancing
• Music
• God

Four memories...
Oh gosh, where do I start with this one!? It's gonna take a while for me to think of just FOUR memories...

• Me and my two friends Kat and Becca were in Tesco once and this one old man came to the checkout in front of us with 25 boxes of cheerios and 30 cartons of milk. I will never forget how confused we were and how much we were laughing, thinking, "when is he going to eat all that to himself!?". Yeah. You had to be there. 
• My close family friends Rosie, Harriet and Yvonne, my mum and I were all camping in Cornwall and it was near a beach. Rosie, Harriet and I were playing in the sea and we came across some jellyfish. They were really still and didn't seem so scary but we were scared because we knew they could sting. Obviously we screamed and ran back to our mums, so they came over and laughed, telling us they were dead. So we were "daring" enough to touch them, and we buried them in the sand. 
• When I was younger we'd visit my grandma and grandpa in Scotland and they lived near a forest park. Sometimes we'd take a drive through one of the forest drives, and there was this song I was just obsessed with. It was "I wish I Knew How It Feels To Be Free" by the Lighthouse Family, and something about it just struck me. I made my grandparents listen to it over and over, and now every time I hear it, it reminds me of my lovely Grandma. 
• The first song I ever wrote was called "Punk Rocker". My brother had secretly listened to me playing it in my room on my mini guitar, and when I went through in to the kitchen I found him playing it to my own family - only he had changed it to "Prawn Cracker" and was making fun of my song! I had such a huge strop after that one. But in his defense, it was an awful song and it did sound like prawn cracker.

Three words I can't go a day without using:

• Wonderful
• Love
• Literally

Two things I wish I could do:

• Draw
• Teleport myself anywhere whenever I wanted

One person you can trust:

• My mum

So I hope you enjoyed learning a bit more about me, and if you didn't well I'm sorry I bored you :( But let me know what you'd answer to all these questions! I love these challenge things. 

Lots of love, 
Ellie xxxx

PS: here's the song I was obsessed with from the "four memories" part.