Trust Him

I feel like sometimes we're begging God to change a situation and wondering why He isn't doing so. I know this more than anyone; I know that it can feel like God is just ignoring you and refusing to answer you. Sometimes I've felt almost abandoned, because in the bible it says "ask and you shall receive"; so I ask, but then God seems to ignore me. And then I start to get frustrated and confused and it's really not great at all.

But something I've truly come to realise is the fact that God is always in control. That fact has been going through my mind like crazy these past few weeks, and that's because God knows I need reminding of it every single minute of every single day, especially at the moment.

I was praying the other night and just wondering why everything seems to be going wrong. We've been praying/prayed for more than ever over these past few months and nothing seems to be changing. 
But then God just said to me, "I'm not changing this situation yet because you still have things to learn. I'm in control." And I was sitting there like, "God, I've learned everything now, I don't think I can learn much more"... but obviously God knows better than I do, so I'm just running with that. I trust him now more than ever, which is ironic because the enemy is truly trying to get in and ruin us, but all that it's doing is getting me closer to Jesus. And I love that. And over these past few weeks, I've been filled with more joy than I ever thought possible - and that's in the midst of a really horrible storm!!

2 Corinthians 5:7:
For we walk by faith, not by sight. 

This verse has a new meaning for me now. 
I've finally learned that when I'm feeling out of control, I don't need to turn to other things to keep me feeling in control. All I need to do is turn to God and trust that He has everything under control. 

I feel like someone reading this right now needs to know to let go and trust Him. You've probably heard it a million times before, but I'm serious - trust Him. He might not be changing your situation now, when you feel you're ready, but just remember that through everything, God has perfect timing. He truly, truly does.
      In my head, I feel like I've learned everything I need to know and that I'm close enough to Jesus for my struggle to be over now, but in my heart I know that God still has things to teach me, and that's OK. I've learned to trust that that's OK.   
      If he's not changing your circumstances, trust that there's still things for you to learn; maybe He's trying to bring you even closer to Him. Don't lose heart in the fact that things are still difficult; take joy in the fact that Jesus is bigger than any struggle, and He is so, so amazing. He can break every chain, heal any disease or scar. Nothing is impossible when it comes to Jesus. (I love to claim that. A lot.)

So basically, the theme of this blog post is trust. I had no idea where I was taking this blog, but God seems to have my fingers moving like crazy on the keyboard right now!  
      Trust is a really hard thing for me;  but if I'm going to trust someone, it might as well be the God who is in control always and forever, and the God who loves us all so much. 

"Praise Him when your heart is breaking, 
when your strength is almost gone
Sing out your song
And praise Him, in the fire and fury
in the dark night of your soul
Your God is in control."    

Listen to this song if you're feeling even slightly discouraged. I promise it'll be worth it! 

Love always ♥♥♥ 

PS. Sorry I've been pretty much M.I.A for months, but like I said it's been pretty crazy over here.  

Courageous

Ever since this year has begun and I've been praying for this to be my year, I've been so in touch with God. 
I was lying down the other day listening to some music, and previously to this I'd been having so many dreams about dance. In all of my dreams I've been a dance teacher/choreographer, teaching modern and Ballet; and also a singer at the same time.
When I was lying down, I suddenly remembered this dream I'd had the night before, and a song called "Brave" came on to my iPod. Then a song called "Courageous" and a song called "Look Like Love". These are all songs that I listen to when I need some hope, or when I want to relate to something. Suddenly God was just there, with me, talking to me through these songs like he always finds a way to do. 

Just as I was like, "Jesus, what is happening!?", the song "This'll Be My Year" by Train came on. God was actually saying to me, "Ellie, I got you this year. Apply for that college. Keep going - I'm not gonna let you fall. This is gonna be your year." I suddenly felt like I could do things this year, like I would be OK; like my M.E. will work with me if I just trust in God. 

Ever since then, I've been seeing all these pictures over social networks of ballet dancers, and quotes from my favourite Britt Nicole songs over the top, or just inspirational quotes that just add to what Jesus said to me that day.  He's telling me to be courageous, to follow my dreams and what I want to do this year. I'm gonna trust in Him - that He will not let me fall in to the pits of my M.E. unless it's absolutely needed. 


This year, I want to be on fire for God. I want to be used by him; I want to dance; I want to sing. I'm being called in to music and dance. I just know it. 
      I want to live this year, not just survive. I'm hoping and praying that God will give me the energy I need to do this. All my faith is on the line here, but I'm being courageous. I don't want to be afraid this year. I want to live. I want to be courageous. 

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than the fear." 
  
I think that, maybe, just maybe, this year will be different. Maybe this year will be better.

Watch this space.  

Be courageous today. Be brave today. Be yourself, and love yourself, and do what you love. Let's do this, together. Let's be brave. 

How will you be courageous?


Love to you all, 
Ellie x

Come, Give me Wings

"I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hands
 
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I can't do
Nothing I cannot do

My hands my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me"

This week/past few weeks have really quite horrible to me. I've had a cold for a week, and my M.E. just took a seriously big blow at me and now I'm on the sofa not moving or talking. It's so discouraging when this happens, and it's really hard to keep my faith. Really, really, really hard. I think this has been the hardest few weeks of my life. It sounds so over-exaggerated; I wish it was. 
It sometimes seems like no amount of praying, no amount of begging for my life and health back, is making a difference. I just want to get out and live, but most importantly, I want to make a difference in the world. That's all I want to do. I really don't know what else I'd do with my life, besides helping people. Especially seeing as it's Christmas time. The problem is,  I'm so ill at the moment, I can't do anything, let alone get out and make a difference. It's really disheartening and makes me feel so defeated. 

But, I'll continue to pray and I'll continue to fight. 

This song just says everything. I chose to post the acoustic version because I feel that it's a lot more raw, emotional and true. The lyrics are so beautiful, and give me shivers because I just want God to use me. I feel like I'm so ready to be doing something, even something small, to help someone or something. 
      Use me, Lord. Use me in my sleep, use me in my blog, use me in my music, use me in my dance, use me in my smile. Give me the health to help. I want to make a difference to someone's life. I want to let the broken know there's healing, once I've found it myself. I want to feed the hungry children. 
Take my dreams, come and give them wings. 

I beg the Lord every night that he will use me in some way one day. I'll continue to beg. I'll never give up, because it's what I want to do. 
I think this is the most honest blog I've ever written. I've shown how defeated I feel at the moment, and I've never really written that in my blog before. 
      But even though I feel defeated, at the lowest of lows, I'm going to keep going. I'm not a quitter anymore, I don't give up just like that. I'll keep going. I'll keep waiting for God to use me. 

I wish you all an amazing rest of the weekend, and hope it continues in to next week. Love all round xx   

Light

When things are looking down in life, the last thing we think of doing is looking up.
Being stuck in a rut, between a rock and a hard place, or even just a situation we feel is just not right, makes it feel like the end of the world. But from experience I've learned that these are the moments that are gonna build your strength and really make you believe in yourself and where you're heading.

I feel like, in life, I sometimes forget to look to God during hard situations and I lose track of where I am and who I want to be. Sometimes I forget that He is my saviour and my soul. For example, when my M.E. gets bad, like it has been lately, it's so hard to look up and feel the light that God is shining down on me; calling me to him, in to his arms. It seems like the most pointless thing to look to God because, well... why would God put you in a horrible situation if he loves you as much as he says he does?
      That's just it though. When life gets hard, God is working in your life behind the scenes. You may not know it, or see where you're going, but that's when you have to hold on the most because, like they say, "it's always darkest before the dawn". It's OK to not know where we're going, because God knows the plan and will take you down the road. God's already there, at the other end of this situation, waiting for you.

When I look back on difficult situations that I have come across or that people I know have been through, I always see a light there. For me, I've always known that God was there; sometimes I've just gotten so lost that it's hard to look up and find Him. He's always been there, walking with me, telling me everything's going to be alright.

I have to remind myself to look up when things are looking down; to look up to God. He will bring me light in the darkest hours, and I have to trust that.
Sometimes it's easier to hide - easier to pretend you don't want something or pretend everything's okay. But you have to let go and feel the light... Just let go. Leave it all behind, and come to the light God is shining to you. 

I feel like someone reading this right now needs to hear this song. Maybe you're struggling with finances, relationships, illness; or maybe you're a young person struggling with not feeling like you fit in, like you're not good enough or like you're a disappointment. But God doesn't think any of those things about you, and He is bigger than all of the problems we face. Maybe you're trying to find your faith, or trying to re-discover it like I have. I'm here tonight to remind you to just let it all go; leave it all behind. You'll be alright.
      I don't know what it might be that you're facing, but God knows, and he won't let you go. Listen to the song, and feel the light. 

Let go, and feel the light.

"Feel the light" - Britt Nicole

"...How did you get here?

You're locked inside of all this fear,

Inside you're crying out, 

your mind's at war, 

Get out, get out... and live for more. 

There's so much more."

Above The Clouds

When you look up at the sky, the clouds look like they go on forever and ever, until you reach space. It looks like there's nothing above them but grey/white sheets of the stuff. 
But it's until you go flying that you think this; because when you fly, the aeroplane travels right above the clouds, and it's not until you take off on a cloudy day and go through them, then suddenly come out in to this beautiful blue sky, that you realise it. 

My dad's a pilot. He flies light aircraft, and I absolutely love going flying with him. However, I hate flying in those big aircraft that take you long distances. I don't know why, I just do. I hate the take off, I hate being in the sky, and I hate the descent. When we flew up to Scotland, I was really scared as we took off, especially because we were in cloud. It took us a few minutes, but after a short time of being immersed in grey moisture, we suddenly popped out of the cloud, and the view had suddenly gone from being miserable and ugly to being breathtaking. The sky was blue and the fluffy clouds were way below us. All you could see for miles was a floor of white cotton-looking stuff, bright blue skies and the blazing sunshine on the right of the plane. It took away all my fears of flying, because I was so distracted by this amazing, un-ending, incredible view that was stretched out in front of me. 

The whole reason I'm describing this to you is because it made me think (as most things do, to be honest). It made me realise that above the clouds, there's always sunshine. When you're going through a hard time, always remember that. I think that's why God put me on that flight on that miserable, cloudy and grim day, and made me so relaxed up there. He put me there so I could realise that although I'll face troubles, and they'll sometimes seem never-ending... there's always an end to the pain and the hurting; because above the clouds, there's always blue skies and sunshine. 

This reminds me of the song "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman. (If you haven't heard it, I'll post it at the end). It's one of my favourite worship songs, because it gives me faith when I don't have much left; when it's running dry. My favourite part of this song is this-

"I can see a light that is coming, 

for the heart that holds on, 

and there will be an end to these troubles, 

but until that day comes, 

still I will praise you, 

still I will praise you..." 

...And this just reminds me in my darkest hours that God never lets go. He really, really doesn't. There will be an end to these troubles. God knows when that day is, even if I can't see it yet. 

So, what I'm trying to say is, don't lose faith and always remember that above the clouds, there is sunshine. I promise you that. Even when everything seems like it's tumbling down; when things seem like they'll never get better; when everything seems at it's worst; when nothing ever goes right...

You can't have a beautiful rainbow without a little rain.

Until next time, 

Ellie x x x x